With the summer holiday just about to end, I was saddened to know that I was soon going back to school and begin another tedious semester. I had spent a couple of week at my aunt's home where I had gone to spend some time just to experience a change of the atmosphere. At her place, I was delighted to meet a couple of friend whom we went out for several activities. Together we participated in ball games and the social activities. With the school opening in a few days' time, I had to come to term with the reality. Thinking that I was going to miss my friend made me sick and left me wishing that I had the power to go back in time, just to avoid going to school earlier. While the idea of leaving my friends took over my mind, I remembered that there was much I could do after all in school.
I had once met a lady whom I loved though I had not composed myself to ask her for a date. The idea of dating this classmate gave me a reason to smile and look forward to the opening of the school.Jean was one of my classmates who we attended school together since she got transferred into my college. Though she had just spent about a semester in college since she got transferred, it seemed to me like she had been around for quite some time. As a cheerless but less talkative lady, Jean kept to herself and in most time avoiding company with most of her classmates. What was striking in her was her beauty that all men in our class noticed. Her taste for clothes and shoes intrigued me further and just before the end of the last semester, I had promised that I would do all I can, just to let her by my girlfriend in the new semester a head.
I was more than delighted to see Jean back in college. I happened to see her as her dad drove her to school. To me, she looked more beautiful than before and this reinforced my pursuits to have her as my girlfriend regardless of the circumstances. I shelved my thoughts about her hoping to get an opportune time once we settled down in college. For a couple of days, we settled down with lectures commencing and soon I was seeing Jean once more in the classes we shared. With the drive to approach Jean and win her heart intensifying, I noted that I could not manage to direct walk and talk her about my feeling. This was made complicated being that I was a bit shy and always cared much about what others said than what I felt within myself. But will this hinder me from achieving my goal?
I kept asking this question every time I stole some glances on jean. Additionally, though I had some challenges to overcome in order to walk and have a hearty talk with jean, I noted that Jean also had to be accessible for me to succeed. But with jean keeping to herself most of the time, the idea getting to talk to her seemed to disappear into the thin air. Nevertheless, I was optimistic that a miracle would happen; perhaps we could just find ourselves outside gazing at the starlit sky where I would hesitate in pouring my feelings to her. Needless to say, I just realized that all these were wishes that could never come to pass. All the same, we happened to bump into one another as Jean left the library one afternoon. While this seemed like a perfect opportunity for me to say a word to her, all I could manage to say was "hello Jean". Realizing that I had missed an opportunity of perhaps saying something more to jean made me pity myself but I was not ready to let any obstacle block my ambition of one day having Jean as a dear friend with a special place in my heart. While this event passed by, little did I know that an opportunity was coming on my way where I would have the chance of speaking to her face to face. However, I kept asking myself whether all was going to be well.
As the semester went one, there seemed to be an oncoming opening that I was not willing to let it pass by me. I was more determined to seize it and meet Jena without any fear whatsoever. I had just realized that I shared a class with Jean and we were meant to form groups of four in order to work on our group assignments. Envisioning that this would present a real chance to me, I was anxious to be part of Jeans' group. When the time arrived for us to form groups, I managed to convince some two students to join me. Jean likewise accepted my request further making me realize how close I was to getting to talk to her about my feelings. With the group work demanding that we work close to another, I knew I was more poised to win Jean than anyone in the class since I could utilize the closeness I had with her.
It did not take long before out group was assigned a task to research on and report in a weeks' time. With such as short notice, we decided to slit the paper into two sections, each being handled by a pair. I could not hide the gladness that thrilled me when Jean coincidently chose to work with me. Much like an indirect approval, I saw myself taking over her heart. As we began to work together, I realized how enchanting Jean was. Every time we walked into the library and did the research, I got swept by the Jean with my admiration for her increasing day by day. It was during one of the library meeting that I mentioned to her that I wanted to take her out for a date. With a smile on her face, she told me to that she had expecting it and she was wondering why It had taken too long.
The moment arrived when I had to take Jean for a date. One of the caf‚ in within the campus seemed to be perfect place. The serene environment of the caf‚ would indeed bolster my word of love to Jean. To make the day a success, I wore some of my best clothes, trimmed my hair well. While all seemed to be in place, I forgot to brush my teeth. Had I known that this would embarrass me, I would have brushed my teeth a million times. Just as we sat facing one another at the caf‚, I was delighted to see Jean, charming and smiling as usual. Soon we began talking with one another and let in, I told her why I had asked her out. What surprised me was her attitude changed as soon as I started talking to her about my feelings and how I would love to have her as my girlfriend.
This confused me for a while since, I was quite sure that she was happy to hear that some loved her more than anyone else. With the feeling that I was disgusting before her, I excused myself and went to the men's perhaps to look at my face. Much to my astonishment, I realized that significant piece of oatmeal covered my teeth. This was embarrassing to me seeing that this was responsible for Jeans reaction. Immediately, I washed my mouth with water, grinned at the mirror and walked back to the table. Feeling embarrassed, I continued the talk but kept looking away but with Jean whispered to me that it was alright. After all, my disappointed could not much the joy I had when Jean gave in to my request. To date, Jean is more closer to my heart.
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Second embarrassing moment: This was in the fifth grade. Actually this is a common experience always coming back to me. It is reading time and we're taking turns reading. I remember it came to my turn. The first word was "would." Would?!?! I can't say that! It got embarrassingly quiet when it came to my turn. I was busy whispering, "W-w-w-w-w-w-" I got angry with myself because it just wouldn't come out. The teacher finally yelled at me to start reading. Augh! The blind world we live in....
by Jenny Woo, age 17
added May 31, 2003
added March 17, 2006